The Right Steps

Here's one for my older readers! Or if you've got a grandparent in the house, bring them over to the computer quick. This little gem is from about 1985, featuring voiceover from the late Bill Owen. I assume it's the original version of the PIF, because I remember it being shown during the '90s with a "Think Safety First" logo and a different VO.

Now, what do we know about the elderly? They're old, of course, and they have wrinkles. Their eyesight isn't very good. After a while, they start to shrink. That's where danger can come in. And so the scruffy old git out of every geriatric's favourite TV show, Last of the Summer Wine, was brought in to advise the viewers on how to avoid serious injury. If you 'ad a job to do about the 'ouse, 'igh up say, out of reach, you wouldn't climb up on a shaky old footstool that I wouldn't even dare to sit on, right? You'd use a stepladder, wouldn't you?

Actually, no. You'd just stand on the nearest chair. This old lady takes the advice, however, and uses a proper set of steps with a hand rail. But what would have happened if she hadn't?

What follows next has to be one of the best scenes ever featured in a public information film. It would be pretty horrific if this happened in real life, but on screen it's just so badly, hilariously over the top it becomes funny. With a surprised "oh!", Granny slips and goes crashing through a glass - fronted cabinet to a dramatic accompaniment on the piano. Or does she? If you can't see the problem here, you're the one who needs your eyes tested.

Because there is no old lady! For crying out loud, is that a nail keeping the stuntman's wig on?! I don't think I've ever seen a drag act as bad as this before, and I've been to a lot of gay bars. Not only that, but the slow - motion shot of everything shattering makes me worry more about what the insurance company is going to have to pay out than what's happened to our stunt pensioner. And no, the final shot of the lightbulb shattering in the fireplace doesn't help. It looks silly. Do you hear me? Silly.

So, dear reader. Take heed. Next time you want to change a lightbulb or do a spot of decoratin', you'll take THE RIGHT STEPS, won't you?

No, you won't. Bugger off, Compo.