Joe and Petunia: Coastguard

Always a special place in my heart.

You've probably seen these already if you live in the UK, but for those not in the know, Joe and Petunia were a pair of dozy cartoon northeners who starred in four public information films broadcast between 1968 and 1973. This is the first one, where they find out what to do if you see a boat in distress. After watching some poor tosser half drown in the sea but thinking he's "just enjoying himself on holiday!", he finally shouts out at them to call the coastguard. Joe reads the message in a speech bubble and goes off to summon help at long last. So all's well that ends well.

Almost as good as the message itself is the interaction between the two title characters. It's as if Wallace (off Wallace and Gromit) married Hyacinth Bucket. I don't think the man on table number six is very nice, do you? They had some great lines throughout the series, and this film is no exception: "'E's 'aving a lot of fun out there in 'is little ding - ee! That's what they call 'em, you know, sailing ding - ees!"

All good things must come to an end, and Joe and Petunia were killed off in their final outing, but they were brought back to life (so to speak) when this PIF was digitally remastered and updated in honour of the 60th anniversary of the COI (Central Office of Information, the body responsible for commissioning all PIFs in the UK). It's been on and off our screens since May 2006, so if you wanted to see what Joe and Petunia look like now, here it is:



Thoughts:

When did Joe turn into a big honking chav? Did he suffer a mid - life crisis after his brush with death? Granted, most working class men don't wear a handkerchief over their heads any more, but couldn't they have come up with something else?

Where did that iPod come from?

Why are most of the lines edited out? All the stuff about the man on table six didn't detract from the moral of the story, not at all. It was funny.

What would have been so wrong about leaving the ending as it originally was? People still use landlines and phone boxes.

Leave the classics alone!!!