Drugs: River

Anyone who's ever been a parent knows that young people don't like to be lectured to by bossy adults. How do you get around that when trying to deliver an important message about drugs? The people behind this 1989 (I think) PIF decided the answer was to round up a gang of Grange Hill rejects, get a middle - aged advertising executive who has clearly never taken anything stronger than an aspirin to write the script, and make sure the lines are said in a whiny faux - Cockney accent just for "authenticity". Yeah. That'll do it.

"I don't knaaaaaaaaaa where 'e got it from. Just off some geezer 'e knew in a raaaaaave."

"Leave it aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaht, Chris!"

"'E just wanted to try it! 'E wanted to try everyfink!"

Combined with the flashing lights and repetitive music, the whole thing does your head in. It's almost a relief when our drug - addled protagonist walks along a bridge rail and falls into the river below. Dismal, but not quite as bad as the current Talk to Frank campaign. Are you surprised that figures show 1 in 4 or more of British teenagers has tried marijuana? I'm not.

Notice also how they're not specific about just what it is this poor unfortunate took. Amphetamines? Ecstasy? That's because this is targeted strictly at your average Daily Mail reader's worst "DRUG SHOCK!" nightmare, and trying to keep it realistically within the effects of any actual illicit substance comes second. Like that episode of Brass Eye where Chris Morris went up to a real life dealer and asked them for a drug called Cake. I think.