Site Update

Sorry about the recent lack of updates. I'm taking a break for a few days because of things to do before going back to uni, but the PIFs will return shortly.

Charley Says: Strangers

I've just been to see Fiddler on the Roof on the West End, and loved it. Sadly, I couldn't find any YouTube videos about the dangers of fiddling on the roof, so I chose this one about a different kind of "fiddling" instead.

Everyone loves Charley Says, don't they? He's the animated cat who appeared in a series of PIFs during the 1970s, warning young children about everything from playing with matches to falling in water. He became so popular that The Prodigy sampled his vocals for their 1991 release Charly - well, the spelling's close enough. A Charley film always showed him larking about with his little human friend Dominic (named after a young neighbour of Kenny Everett, who provided the voice of Charley). Something would go wrong, the day would be saved, and then Charley would growl his way through the moral of the story, which Dominic would translate for the human audience. Such as "Charley says always tell your mummy before you go off somewhere so she knows who you are with."

Or "Charley says never go anywhere with men or ladies you don't know". That's this one, in which young Dom nearly agrees to go with a stranger who offers to show him some puppies. Luckily, Charley's at hand to remind him that this would be a very dangerous thing to do. The bad guy mysteriously vanishes, boy and cat go home where they are rewarded with a nice snack and a pat on the head, Charley delivers the punchline and the PIF ends. Is anyone thinking that this is the least realistic way to warn kids about "stranger danger", ever? I started school nearly twenty years after this was first broadcast, which was 1973 according to the National Archives site, and even then we were always told that a Bad Stranger would either offer us sweets or ask us to look at puppies. Why? You'd think any self respecting paedo could come up with a better way of luring their victims. Or that if a child refused to go with them because the cat said not to, that the kid would be bundled into a car at knifepoint instead.

And if you wanted to look at this one from the stranger's point of view, your search is over. Charley redux!

Drugs: River

Anyone who's ever been a parent knows that young people don't like to be lectured to by bossy adults. How do you get around that when trying to deliver an important message about drugs? The people behind this 1989 (I think) PIF decided the answer was to round up a gang of Grange Hill rejects, get a middle - aged advertising executive who has clearly never taken anything stronger than an aspirin to write the script, and make sure the lines are said in a whiny faux - Cockney accent just for "authenticity". Yeah. That'll do it.

"I don't knaaaaaaaaaa where 'e got it from. Just off some geezer 'e knew in a raaaaaave."

"Leave it aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaht, Chris!"

"'E just wanted to try it! 'E wanted to try everyfink!"

Combined with the flashing lights and repetitive music, the whole thing does your head in. It's almost a relief when our drug - addled protagonist walks along a bridge rail and falls into the river below. Dismal, but not quite as bad as the current Talk to Frank campaign. Are you surprised that figures show 1 in 4 or more of British teenagers has tried marijuana? I'm not.

Notice also how they're not specific about just what it is this poor unfortunate took. Amphetamines? Ecstasy? That's because this is targeted strictly at your average Daily Mail reader's worst "DRUG SHOCK!" nightmare, and trying to keep it realistically within the effects of any actual illicit substance comes second. Like that episode of Brass Eye where Chris Morris went up to a real life dealer and asked them for a drug called Cake. I think.

Nightshift

This was one of the best known campaigns by the Australia - based Transport Accident Commission (TAC), which until recently produced the most graphic and hard hitting road safety awareness films anywhere in the world. Their job is to pay out "reasonable compensation" to road crash victims all over the state of Victoria, and I suppose it's in their interest to try and stop such "accidents" happening quite so often.

Did you know that the brain's alertness levels are at their lowest point between midnight and 6am? The hero of this grim little piece clearly doesn't, or he wouldn't knock off work at 2.00 in the morning and head straight out on a long drive. Bad visibility, no one to help you if you break down or get carjacked or something, what better time? He turns the radio up to try and keep him awake, but it doesn't help. Neither does waking up his snoozing girlfriend, so he presses on bravely. He's been driving for nearly two and a quarter hours now, and doesn't the time fly! Zzzzzzzzzzzz eyes closing ooh look pink elephants, lullaby music big fluffy pillows.

Come sunrise, he can hardly keep his eyes open, but he's made it. Until he drives too close to a passing tanker, smashing straight into the side and flipping his van over. Never mind, eh?

As well as the driver fatigue message, this one has the "Country people die on country roads" endline, which accompanied another infamous TAC film where some people are driving along a mountain road and somehow land in a ditch and their car catches fire. If anyone knows where there's a copy on YouTube, I'd be grateful for a link.

Coughs and Sneezes Spread Diseases

Don't you just hate it when some practical joker kicks you into a river? Or when they rig up the door so heavy books fall on your head when you walk through?

Well, get over yourself. They're "a nuisance, but pretty harmless". What's not so harmless is the type who sneezes all over everyone whenever they like, without a handkerchief. They're not a nuisance. They're a real danger! They've probably infected thousands of people already! That's where this 1950s PIF comes in. And after being given a nice clean hanky, the star of the clip is left in no doubt about what to do next time someone covers him in pepper. Sneeze? Handkerchief. Sneeze? Handkerchief. Sneeze? Handkerchief!

Handkerchiefs weren't as hygienic as disposable tissues, and back in the '50s tuberculosis was a lot more common, so this was an important message at the time. Then again, what else would you use a handkerchief for?

Those of you familiar with classic PIFs should recognize the actor as Richard Massingham, who became the founding father of public information films when he discovered there was a niche in the market for public education, and set up his own company to produce them. He was then commissioned by the Ministry of Information to appear in most PIFs made during WWII and the 1950s. So, fans of the genre owe a hearty "Thank you" to Mr Massingham. I'll be profiling more of his work another time.

Alternatively, if Hancock's Half Hour is more your thing, you may remember that the "Coughs and Sneezes Spread Diseases" line was parodied in an episode called The Blood Donor. It's a classic catchphrase now, much like "This is your brain on drugs" across the Atlantic.

Passive Smoking: Marie

According to the person who posted this French public health awareness commercial, it won a 2005 Cannes Silver/Clio Bronze award for advertising. I'm pretty sure it was originally in French, but the grim dub fits with the visuals.

So, we're told, since Marie has resided at her current address, she's smoked - er, a LOT of cigarettes. They're all over the floor, look! And in the car! And floating in the fish tank! I know the French like their Gauloises and what have you, but this is pushing it. Especially when we find out that she's only seven years old. "When you smoke, non - smokers smoke too," says the endline. I feel REALLY sorry for Marie's family then, because one commenter said:

That's around 50-60 cigarettes a day, if my calculations are correct.

Not only is everyone else breathing in her second hand smoke. At this rate, she'll have lung cancer before she's out of her teens. I think she should be taken into care immediately, and her parents prosecuted for giving cigarettes to a seven - year - old. And cruelty to the goldfish. That'll teach 'em.

Still, it's a twist you don't see coming (unless you've seen the PIF before), and a lot more tasteful than the recent UK campaign with young children breathing cigarette smoke out of their noses. I might post about that one another time. I think the simple visuals here work a lot better than deliberate "shock tactics", but maybe that's just me.

Andy Lights the Fire

You can see that this particular copy of a 1980s fire safety PIF was originally hosted on TV Ark, which had a thriving collection of them until they were taken down during a site redesign. I do recommend checking back occasionally to see if the PIF section returns, and the site is still well worth a look for any fans of vintage British television.

I find that a lot of public education campaigns are like the warning labels on Superman costumes. "Cape does not enable wearer to fly." You'd think that would be obvious, but there's always some moron who goes and does it anyway. Just like there are stupid people out there who think it's OK to give matches to young children. That's why this PIF looks and sounds like a Peter and Jane book, with really simple words so that such people will get the message:

"I'm drawing a hippopotamus for my homework! What are you going to do?"

"Light the fire!"

It's almost like watching a pantomime, isn't it? I'm half expecting Julian Clary to pop up out of the fireplace and start going "OH NO HE ISN'T!" Anyway, draw a hippopotamus? That's homework? And they wonder why, twenty years down the line, half of all UK school leavers can't read or write.

The consequences, of course, are just as predictable: Andy leaves the fire unattended, a bit of burning coal falls out and sets fire to his copy of the Beano, and within seconds the whole room is up in smoke. This accident could have been just as easily prevented by not letting people leave magazines all over the place. They're quite right, though: it's "never all right" to give matches to young children. Case in point, the 10 - year - old arsonist who recently made the news when he was hit with a court order banning him from having any matches or lighters until he's 16. Then he's free to celebrate by heading downtown to torch a couple of buildings.

I'd say this PIF was a good effort, but not right up there in terms of effectiveness. It might have worked better as a comedy sketch. Little Britain, say. Lou and Andy light the fire?

"Yeah, I know. I don't like fires."

Pedal Safety Song

Here's a PIF from 1978, about making sure you're visible to other road users when you ride a bike. Cycle safety was a very big thing in those days. Even when I was a young child not so long ago (late '80s/early '90s) you had to know the Highway Code almost as well as a car driver if you wanted to pass your Cycling Proficiency Test, and the police would go round to schools and hand out reflective armbands for you to wear when riding at night. We still have a few half - arsed campaigns telling kids to wear a cycle helmet, but generally, no one gives a toss.

Apart from these cool cats, that is. They're showing you how to "GET YOURSELF SEEN" so you won't be run over by a driver who didn't know you were there until it was too late. Make it big! Make it bold! Make it bright! If like the poor bloke at 00:50 you have to get done up like an oven - ready turkey wrapped in tinfoil, so much the better! Why don't you and your friends get some matching fluorescent apron things with "Get", "Yourself" and "Seen" on them, and go out in convoy to show you're here, you're queer, gay rights now? Sorry, wrong issue.

Seriously, it does make you wonder how they actually thought anyone would take this advice. Would you slap paint and Sellotape all over your treasured, expensive bike?

If nothing else, it's worth a look just to remember how quiet Britain's roads were back then. No congestion charges, no fucking speed cameras, no letters from bossy council people. Whoever said you don't know a good thing until it's gone was absolutely right. This is why we have '70s theme nights in pubs, and Life on Mars. To remind you that the best is already behind, and now it's just a long, slow decline to the grave.

I learned it by watching YOU!

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Drugs are bad. We all know that, and so someone has to find a way to convince the next generation that messing about with smack and crack can seriously ruin your life. The Partnership for a Drug - Free America knows just how to get down with the yoof, and identify with kids so they can understand the message. Such as showing this 1980s classic on nationwide TV.

Every teenager knows how this one goes, don't they? You're rocking out with your comically clunky headphones and radio set, when in comes '80s Father, complete with lurid tie and carpet brush moustache. He's found your little party stash, and you are BUSTED! Never mind the question of how a teenage boy got hold of that amount of drugs. I suspect this kid is moonlighting as the dealer for his entire class at school, but that hasn't occurred to Drugbuster Dad. He demands answers, which our young hero doesn't have (well, could you have told someone why you used drugs at that age?) and finally gets one:

"Who taught you how to do this stuff?"
"YOU, all right! I learned it by watching you!"

There's no answer to that one, is there? It's a mighty irresponsible parent who says "Come over here, Johnny, and I'll show you how to roll a spliff!" More likely he learned from an older kid at school, but we can see that dad's nerves are rattled at being called out on his own drug use. Parents who use drugs have children who use drugs, or who smoke or shoplift or light their farts in the middle of the supermarket. Insert other illegal, dangerous or morally dubious activity here.

As silly as this one is, it's become a treasured part of US TV history, and been parodied on every show from Scrubs to Robot Chicken. And the message is still a good one. Don't show off to your kids about how "hip" and "groovy" you are because you once smoked a joint when you were a student, and for goodness' sake don't use drugs in front of young children. Having grown up with a friend whose "bohemian" parents treated the house like an opium den, I can assure you it isn't pretty.

Introduction

Taking a lead from this geezer, I decided to start my very own blog. He loves horror movies, I love Public Information Films (PIFs) and Public Service Announcements (PSAs). What are they? Have a look here and here. You probably remember some of these from years back: Charley Says? Tufty Squirrel? This is Your Brain on Drugs? Drink, Drive, Bloody Idiot? Either way, I just can't get enough of government - produced, not - for - profit advertising.

Well, it beats being a crack addict at least.

So, the idea is that every day I watch and review a different PIF/PSA from around the world. I'm in the UK, where you can buy archive footage from the Central Office of Information (the government body responsible for commissioning public information films), but I might feel a bit stupid to phone up and say "Hello, how much do you charge for crackly old propaganda films from donkey's years ago?" Any suggestions on how to approach this matter are welcome, otherwise I'll stick to good old YouTube.

Sit back, enjoy and try to learn something. Or just have a laugh at how hilariously bad some of these old clips were. Posts are tagged according to country (they'll usually be from the UK or USA, but I'll try to get hold of some international ones), decade of first broadcast if I know when that was, and subject.